Tuesday, 23 May 2017

The Exchange Wahala (part 3)


(continue from part 2) I walked into a little luxurious eatery and placed my order like the big man that I am right now with the big fat wallet in my possession. soon enough the meal appeared! I was badly salivating, I immediately opened the food and was about to start shoveling the food inside my watery mouth when the waitress hushed me.

'sir'  she called me, yes my dear i stopped short and  answered her

"You pay for the food before you eat it"

"oh!" I retorted and quickly reached for the wallet

"How much is my bill?" I quickly brought out the fat wallet and reached to make the payment. I opened the wallet and found a shocker!


The fear welled up in me now. I decided to pour out the entire content of the wallet, ALL PAPER! WHAAAAAT! I screamed; and now I had poured out the entire content of the wallet on the table, what I saw written on one gave me some concern; it was written on it " FOOLISH MAN; YOU THINK YOU ARE SMART, NOW WE KNOW WHO IS SMARTER"... ah! ah! what is the meaning of that? could this innocent looking man have issues with someone? Why is there paper all through in the wallet? No money, not even a dime! my mind ran back to what was written on that paper 'FOOLISH MAN'... Some kind of hot heat wave just hit my face and ran through my whole body. I immediately reached for my own N500 which I had folded and securely hidden far away in my corner pocket. No! I was not planning to use it to pay for the meal, the orders I placed was about N1700 and for sure I know I was in trouble because hence I had ordered the meal and served, I must pay for it whether eaten or not. I just needed to hold my N500, maybe I could beg, If I could, the i would still use my money and put some food in my hurting stomach...

JEEESUSSSSS!!! I screamed madly and loudly like a man who his 40ft container had sunk in high sea with no insurance cover, like a police officer who had served his nation for 29years and given a letter of summary dismissal for collecting a bribe of N20! I was about to rush out; but the meal standing in front of me still unpaid for, and the Waitress waiting on me with her hand stretched out impatiently to collect  money from me and head back to attend to other waiting customers.

"Is there a problem sir?"

"Yes! the man!"

"Which man sir?"  I could only point when my senses returned; what story do i tell?

"I've been robbed! someone picked my pocket!" at this point, all eyes was on me. don't forget; i still looked tattered. now the person in charge of the eatery came out and could not hear my own side of the story after the waitress that served me told her that I was scheming to eat their expensive and over priced meal for free. she continued " Ma, when I asked him to pay, he brought out one big wallet filled with paper and started pouring it out, will they pick his pocket and leave only papers in his wallet and take out only money?"... she sounded so convincing and now I know that there is no story available to bail me out.

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